


The Best Thing I Ever Did

by KurtsAnatomy



Category: Coming Out On Top (Visual Novel)
Genre: Bros Night, Confessions, Drunk Sex, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-18 16:26:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21630514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KurtsAnatomy/pseuds/KurtsAnatomy
Summary: "I just…I’ve never felt like this about anyone before and now I’m out I can actually act on feelings like this. It just feels like I’m right back where I started. Gazing from afar, not being able to just say ‘Hey, I have feelings for you, now kiss me until the world stops’.”“Uh…Mark?”“No, Pen,” Mark says, turning to face her. “Just once I’d like to walk right up to the guy I like and tell him that all I’ve ever wanted is to be with him, to love him, to think of nothing else but him and that stupid smirk of his."Or: Mark's really to deal with his love for Ian in silence. But when pizza, beer, and a movie turns into something neither of them anticipated, how will that affect their friendship?
Relationships: Ian Manachevitz/Mark Matthews
Comments: 2
Kudos: 53





	The Best Thing I Ever Did

Mark closes the door gently behind him, whistling quietly. 

A small cough sounds from the couch. 

“You didn’t think you could just beta test my app and not expect me to collect the data results, did you?” 

Mark groans softly, but he’s too happy to be genuinely pissed. He had just been on a great date with Donovan, admittedly it hadn’t started off very well. But once he dropped his guard and let himself into new experiences, it had ended very, _very_ well. He smiles at the taste of Donovan’s body wash that lingers in his mouth. 

“So it went _that_ well?” 

Mark perches on the armchair next to her, shrugging. “About as well as we could have expected.” 

Penny raises one eyebrow. “So…did it…?” 

Mark folds his arms. “Did it what?” 

“Did it take your mind off… _him_?” 

Mark sighs. “Initially, I thought it was going to be a bust. He was very nervous, obviously very uncomfortable. Had the same kind of build. But then when we actually got talking, I forgot all about him. He showed me his tools and suddenly I was having a great time.” 

“Do I really need to know about his tools, Mark?” 

Mark rolls his eyes. “No, his actual tools. He works in construction. I got to use a saw and a nail gun without maiming myself or others around me.” 

Penny’s eyes widen. “Now that is an achievement. You’ve come a long way, friend. Are you going to go on another date?”

“I don’t know, Pen.” 

“But this one went so well! Why stop now?”

Mark looks down. “You know, ever since I came out I’ve been trying to find out what type of gay guy I’m going to be. Even that first night at Charlie’s, it felt like there was an expectation, you know? That I was supposed to slither through the crowd, sucking three dicks at once—.” 

“I’m not convinced anyone expected you to do _that_ , Mark.” 

“Hyperbole,” he waves his hand. “Anyway, I just don’t know if casual flings are my thing.” 

“Don’t do this,” Penny starts. “You can’t think about him forever, Mark.” 

“Slurpy says I can,” Mark retorts, but he knows it’s a weak response without Penny even having to respond. 

So she doesn’t. She simply stares at him in the way that only best friends can, and he sighs. 

“I know! I just…I’ve never felt like this about anyone before and now I’m out I can actually act on feelings like this. It just feels like I’m right back where I started. Gazing from afar, not being able to just say ‘Hey, I have feelings for you, now kiss me until the world stops’.” 

“Uh…Mark?” 

“No, Pen,” Mark says, turning to face her. “Just once I’d like to walk right up to the guy I like and tell him that all I’ve ever wanted is to be with him, to love him, to think of nothing else but him and that stupid smirk of his. I’ve been in the closet for so long, I just want to—.” 

Mark turns, groaning. 

Ian and Zoe stand in the hallway, unblinking eyes fixated on Mark’s tirade. 

“Hey guys,” Mark croaks. 

“Uh…hey, Mark. Long day?” Zoe smiles lightly, leaning against the wall. 

Mark rubs his eyes. “Long _life_.” 

Ian attempts a grin, but it’s feeble. “I’m with you there, man. I feel like Zoe’s been moving apartments for months now. It’s like, how many boxes can one woman have?” 

Zoe shrugs. “I have a lot of crap.” 

“I’ll say,” Ian whispers, but she hears him easily. 

She opens her mouth to speak, but remembers Mark and Penny are sitting inches away from them, and decides against it. 

Mark’s phone saves him from having to respond. 

_New BroFinder Message!_

_Donovan: Thanks for tonight. Bit of a rocky start, but we got there. Can’t stop thinking about what you did with your tongue LOL ;)_

_Donovan: Am I using those right?_

_Mark: Could’ve done without the LOL, but you’re getting better._

_Mark: Had a great time too, by the way. I’m glad you opened yourself up._

_Donovan: I’ll open myself up to you anytime._

“They’re gone,” Penny whispers. “You don’t have to pretend to get messages anymore.” 

“I’ll have you know that I have a vast circle of friends with whom I regularly converse.”

“Name three of them.”

Mark grins. “Well there’s you and Ian.” 

“We don’t count, we’re your best friends. Try again.” 

“Well, you know, there’s…”

“If you say Slurpy, I’m telling Ian it was you who took his lube.” 

Mark’s eyes widened. “How?”

“I have my ways. I also saw it in the sink and went in there after you. Suddenly it wasn’t there anymore. Coincidence? I think not, Mark.” 

Mark groans. “Does it get tiring being right all the time?” 

Penny smirks. “It’s a heavy burden which I must shoulder in silent solitude.” 

Mark drapes his legs across hers. “I’m so screwed aren’t I?” 

His head hits her shoulder. 

“I’m sorry honey. I’m proud of you for getting out there tonight. Even if you were just helping me out. I can ask Phil from now on.” 

“You want Phil to go on BroFinder? You’re more likely to find me over at the frat house for a beer and pizza with the football team.” 

Penny sighs. “You’re right this time. I just don’t want to keep making you go on dates when you’re so obviously not ready. I’m sorry I made you go.” 

Mark smiles softly. “Pen, I wasn’t lying when I said I had a good time. Sure, I was thinking about him, but I always think about him. That wasn’t going to stop just because I had another guy’s dick in my hand. That’s my sad truth and I won’t allow you to take over my pity party. Get your own!” 

Penny shakes her head. “You’re something special, Matthews.” 

“That’s what they tell me,” Mark winks. “If you need another beta test next weekend, I’d be happy to do it.” 

Penny gazes at him warmly. “You really are the best friend a budding app developer could ever ask for.”

Mark nods. “Just…easy on the Tanning Spray photos from now on, okay?” 

“You got it.” 

He kisses her on the forehead. “Night, Pen.” 

“Goodnight, Mark.” 

Mark traipses to his room, trying not to think about whatever Ian and Zoe are getting up to in the next room, or about his Human Anatomy paper due next week. Or about his Human Anatomy _teacher_. Or about any guys in general really. 

As he settles into bed, he decides that Donovan is fair game and closes his eyes, thinking about that large frame and those kind eyes, trying his hardest to block out any unwelcome visitors that usually come his way.

* * *

Mark’s eyes open in a haze of confusion. 

“Ugh, good morning Slurpy. Fine, don’t say it back. Be that way.” 

His phone says the time is 6:02, but he’s awake now, and unable to return to sleep. 

He had slept restfully, but the same faces kept jumping in and out of his dreams. Donovan. Ian. Alex. Jed. Even Phil made a few appearances. Mark’s horny subconscious truly is an entity of its own. 

He trudges to the bathroom, groggily pushing open the door. 

He quickly empties his bladder, brushes his teeth, and splashes cold water on his face. He leans over the sink and wakes himself up, resting his arms on the edge of the sink. 

Suddenly, he feels a sharp slap to his ass. 

“Rise and shine, dude!” 

Mark gasps and spins around. “Ian,” he hisses. “It’s far too early for that!” 

Ian grins. “Time is but a device used by those who wander to excuse their lack of direction.” 

Mark frowns. “This one truly made no sense.” 

“Sense is but a tool utilised by the narrow-minded to prohibit critical thinking.” 

“Dork,” Mark edges past him and back into the hallway, definitely not thinking about his best friend with very little clothes on.

Mark feels his dick swell in his underwear and he looks down sternly. “No, buddy, not today. No way. We can’t keep doing this. We _just_ got sucked like twelve hours ago. Calm down.” 

Ian sticks his head out of the bathroom. “You say something, bro?” 

Mark spins around. “Who me? No! Why, did you hear something?” 

Ian shrugs. “Must just be my inner thoughts.” 

“Really? Plural?” 

Ian just winks and slips back into the bathroom. 

Mark sighs and heads back to his room. 

He only has one class today, so Mark takes the opportunity and flops on his bed, full of inexplicable energy. He’s too tired to sleep, yet can’t bring himself to move. 

“How bout we have a day just you and me, Slurp, old buddy?” 

“That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard,” Ian pipes up from the doorway. He leans on the frame, arms crossed, biceps bulging out of his sleeves. 

Mark isn’t going to pretend like he hasn’t _seen_ Ian, because when you live with a guy who’s as physically attractive as Ian, and you’re a closeted gay man, things tend to catch your eye. And Ian isn’t shy, he’ll walk around in his underwear for everyone to see. Penny usually makes him cover up after a while, but Mark is fully content to let him wander. After all, he’s not hurting anybody. 

“Are you just allergic to knocking?”

“Are you just allergic to actually closing doors if you want privacy? That’s how this living together shit works. I can come and bug you, but if your door is closed then it’s off limits. What was the first rule of shared domesticity?” 

Mark rolls his eyes. “If the door is closed, I’m probably masturbating. I want to make this clear that this was _your_ first rule. Mine was about remembering to replace the toilet paper.” 

“Not the damn toilet paper thing again,” Ian groans playfully. 

“I will keep saying it until you remember.” 

“Whatever dude. Now you need to tell me all about your date with Dom Daddy last night.” 

Mark winces on Donovan’s behalf. “He hates that phrase.” Mark recaps the night anyway, telling Ian about Donovan’s lack of dating finesse, his rulebook, their construction fun, and then their actual fun. 

“Hold on a minute, you did construction work?” 

“I know it’s fairly unusual for a date location, but it was actually kind of nice.” 

Ian shakes his head. “No, I mean… _you_ did construction work?” 

Mark bites back a smirk. “Oh, just because I’m gay means I can’t do construction?” 

Ian steps back, hands raised. “Whoa dude, no, I didn’t mean that!” 

Mark winks. “Gotcha.” 

Ian shakes his head. “You son of a bitch.” 

“But to answer your question, yes I’m actually quite capable with the right tools and the right teacher.” 

“Yeah, I bet he taught you a thing or two.” 

Mark shrugs. “I taught him some stuff too.” 

Ian’s eyes widen. “And that’s my cue to leave. Let me know if you wanna do something for dinner. Penny’s in the lab all day and I don’t feel like having Pop Tarts for the third night in a row.” 

“See you, man.” 

Ian turns and walks away, leaving Mark laying on his back, sighing. 

He definitely doesn’t ogle Ian’s ass as he leaves.

* * *

“And so,” Professor Davies smiles, “the contusion produces discolouration of the skin. With this type of injury, the skin hasn’t broken so the blood collects and clots behind it. The haemoglobin breaks itself down and forms other compounds which affect the hue of the contusion. You all with me so far?”

The class nods. Mark does too, though he’s not thinking about contusions. His mind flickers to the way Professor Davies, Alex, stands. One leg in front of the other, arms folded unless he’s pointing. Then he’ll perch on the edge of his desk as he asks and answers questions with the students, his legs swinging rhythmically. He’s so laid back, so _cool_. And he’s an excellent teacher, from the stuff Mark has actually been able to pay attention to. 

“Shit,” Mark breathes as he realises he’s absorbed nothing from the lecture. His computer is blank, noteless, as though he hadn’t even attended. 

_But at least your spank bank has some brand new pictures of your half naked Professor to add to its collection._

Mark hates it when his mind makes a good point. He thinks it’s what Slurpy would sound like if he could talk. 

“That’s all for today, thanks for participating everyone. See you all on Wednesday for the commencement of your next paper.”

Mark shuts his laptop, sliding it into his satchel. He stands, making sure he doesn’t have any crotch issues from his daydreaming. 

“Mr. Matthews, could you stay behind a moment please?” 

Mark looks around, as though Alex might have been talking to somebody else. 

But no, he’s speaking to the student he accidentally gave his number to at a gay bar. Figures. In the back of his mind, he blames Penny for ever suggesting the idea. And himself for not doing the smart thing and deleting it. 

Mark descends to the bottom of the lecture hall, where Alex packs up his lesson plan and resources. 

“Is everything okay, A—Professor Davies?” 

Alex turns and smiles that charming smile. “Yes, everything’s great. I just wanted to check in and see how you were feeling about the term paper.” 

Mark nods. “Very confident. In fact, you might want to go ahead and pencil an A in my grade book right now.”

Alex raises an eyebrow. “Is that so? I’m wondering how you’re going to get that A without any notes.” 

At Mark’s stillness, Alex continues. “I’ve been lecturing for a few years now. I know when my students aren’t engaged.”

Mark swallows, mouth suddenly dry. “I…just have some stuff on my mind, that’s all.” 

Alex takes that moment to strap his bag over his chest, accentuating its firmness and reiterating how much Mark wants to lick it. 

_Now’s not the time, Matthews._

“Oh. Is there anything I can help you with? I’m not just a professor, Mark, I’m also part of the faculty’s Student Support network. If a college problem, I can give you some options or advice should you need it.” 

Mark blinks quickly. “It’s nothing like that, just dumb stuff.” 

Alex looks at him, hard, and licks his lip. “I can sense it’s something you’re reticent to discuss with me. Not to worry, Mark, but just know that I’m available during office hours if you need to talk, about the class or otherwise.” 

There’s a proposition that’s just waiting to be suggested, but Alex gives him nothing as usual. 

“You bet, Professor. If there’s anything, I’ll let you know.” 

“Excellent. Now, I have a paper of my own to be working on. Who knew that when you became a teacher you still had to actually _write_ papers. Contributions to academic journals really _suck_.” 

Mark could have sworn Alex over-enunciated the word ‘suck’, but there’s nothing he can do about it now. 

“Good luck with it,” Mark offers feebly before turning and walking away. 

“Mark?” 

“Yeah?” 

“If you need any notes, swing by my office and I’ll sort you out.”

“Thanks, Professor.”

With his back turned, he doesn’t notice that Alex watches him leave the entire way out of the lecture hall.

* * *

Mark is sitting in the living room when Ian bursts through the front door of the apartment, grinning. 

“Yo man, so I got a six-pack of beer and a bottle of whisky and I thought we could order a pizza and have a bros night in.” 

Mark looks up from his barren BroFinder app and bites his lip. “If we order pizza, Jed might bring it and we’re probably going to end up shooting a load on his face if that happens.” 

Ian rolls his eyes. “Dude, just say no next time.” 

“Would if I could, man. He was just _there_ , semi-erect and shredded, inviting me inside for a sex party. Every time I thought about saying no, it was like his dick started to get even bigger and then it’s just impossible.” 

Ian cracks open a beer and gets some glasses for the whisky. “Well then I’ll answer the door. And plus his dick isn’t gonna be hanging out when he’s delivering a pizza.” 

Mark’s eyes widen. “You don’t remember last time?” 

Ian shudders. “I was trying to forget. I’ll call and order, dummy, you just sit right there and have a drink.”

Ian dials the number hastily while Mark cracks open a beer. 

“Oh, and Ian?” 

“What?” 

“Don’t get the pepperoni. It’ll give him _ideas_.” 

Ian mock salutes and orders their pizzas, no pepperoni or meat of any kind involved.

Mark curls into a comfortable position, beer clenched between his thighs. His phone rests next to him in case Penny has another beta test emergency. Or Donovan texts him. Or if Professor Davies wants some after-hours essay prep. Mark knows that none of those are likely to happen. 

If he’s honest with himself, yeah he’s worried about spending a night alone with Ian. It’s something they’ve done countless times before, Penny being the nocturnal busybody app developer that she is. But things have been different since summer, when Mark came to the life-altering realisation that he had been in love with Ian since they met freshman year. And now that Mark had come out to his friends, things just seem a little too real. Being sat next to Ian, drinking, talking about boys and girls and sex and life and love, everything just seems to be heading in a strange direction. One that Mark would rather not think about. 

And another thing? Mark is a terrible, _terrible_ drunk.

But he swigs his beer with reckless abandon, knowing full well that things could turn bad in just mere hours. 

“So how are things with you and Zoe?” Mark asks between sips. 

Ian groans, hand dragging down his face. 

“Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound good.” 

“You know that episode of _Friends_ where Ross is sat with that girl and he keeps on saying the wrong thing and can’t dig himself out of that hole?” 

Mark smirks. “So…all of them?” 

“Pretty much, yeah,” Ian chuckles. “Man that guy is weird. Anyway, dating Zoe is like that. I say something and, no matter what it is, it’s the wrong thing.” 

“Like what?” Mark is genuinely interested now. 

Ian sighs. “Like the other day, I mentioned to her that I liked her jeans. She then said I stared at her ass too much. I said she had an amazing ass, which she then took as me only wanting for her body. She kicked me out and didn’t talk to me for two days. What did I even do wrong?” 

Mark shrugs. “Beats me. I don’t date girls. Especially not scary ones like Zoe.” 

“She is kind of scary, isn’t she?” 

“And not even scary and warm like Lady Bird’s mom.” 

Ian smiles. “You can’t be scary _and_ warm.” 

Mark returns the quote. “I think you can. Your mom is.” 

“You’re gay!” 

Mark looks him dead in the eye before sniggering. 

The doorbell rings as if waiting for their conversation to die down. 

Mark tenses, eyes pleading with Ian. 

“You gotta relax…Sparky.” 

Mark fights off a smile. “Call me that again and this bottle is going in a place straight men don’t usually put things.” 

Ian shrugs. “Wouldn’t the biggest thing I’ve had up there.” 

Ian crosses the room to the door while Mark processes his comment. He knows that Ian is sexually diverse, but didn’t realise that it extended to dildos. That’s information he doesn’t even know how to begin unpacking. Already, he knows what he’s dreaming of tonight. 

The door opens. 

“Hey, Ian.” 

“How’s it going, Jed?” 

“All good, man.” 

Mark winces. 

“Is Sparky home? Haven’t seen him…around in a while.” 

Ian shakes his head. “Nah, he’s at the gym. Think he’s got a hot date or something.” 

Jed pauses and Mark rolls his eyes. “Oh. Well tell him I said hi. That’s $12.50 for everything.” 

Ian takes out a $20. “Keep the change, man.” 

“Appreciate it.” 

Mark wonders when guys learned to speak in two-to-three word sentences because clearly he missed the memo and spends his time spluttering and becoming more loquacious with each passing day. 

Ian dishes out the pizza. “Man, he looked depressed to see that you had a date.” 

“Was that necessary?” 

“Well dude, you _do_ have a hot date.”

Mark frowns. “I do?” 

“Yeah. I’m hot and it’s bros night. We’re eating and drinking, sounds like a date to me.” 

Mark scoffs. “Like I’d want to date you.” Awkward Gay Translation: _I would really, really like to date you please._

“Ooh, ouch. That would’ve hurt if you weren’t such a big _liar_.”

“I might change my mind if you tell me about the dildos you apparently use.” 

Ian blushes, which is uncharacteristic for him. Mark thinks it’s the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. Such a confident guy getting so hot under the collar. 

“Zoe got me into it,” Ian breathes, and Mark knows it’s a load off his shoulders. He tries hard not to think about the words ‘Ian’ and ‘load’ in the same sentence. “It was a little thing at first, just a finger to see if I liked it. Man, did you know the prostate is like… _right_ there and it feels fucking amazing.” 

Mark blushes this time. “Uh…Ian? I’m gay, of course I know that.” 

“Right. Of course. Anyway, Zoe’s got this super huge collection of toys, and I’m talking like something in every size, colour, and function. Things that vibrate, things that beep, even things I didn’t know existed. So we started playing with them casually, and then I realised how much better it was to get off with something inside you. Now I can’t come without them.” 

Mark blinks rapidly, trying to banish thoughts of Ian with dildos inside him, while simultaneously trying to will away his encroaching boner that’s about to threaten to split his jeans. “Wow, Ian. That’s…a lot of information.” 

“Sorry, dude, if I freaked you out or whatever.” Ian turns to the pizza, grabbing a slice and tearing into it like he hasn’t eaten in weeks. Grease drips down his chin, which is quickly collected by his tongue. 

Mark looks away, deciding to grab a slice for himself. “No, it’s not that! I just didn’t expect to hear that tonight.” 

Ian gives him a challenging stare. “I thought our old buddy Jed would’ve loosened you up a bit, Sparky.” 

“It’s almost like you want me to punch you.” 

“You couldn’t even if you wanted to. You remember my nunchucks right?” Ian makes a swooshing motion in the air. Mark just rolls his eyes. He’s glad to notice that his boner has sufficiently deflated, nerves probably the cause. He can see a route that the conversation might head down, but he knows what else that would entail and that’s not something he can handle tonight. An awkward rejection from his best friend isn’t a typical evening activity that Mark wants to partake in. He’d rather sit and study. 

“Yes, Ian, I remember your nunchucks. I had to explain to my parents why the lamp they bought me mysteriously disappeared a few days after moving into the place.” 

“Yeah…that was my bad.” Ian scoops up another slice of pizza, tearing into it with his teeth.“So how was your class today?” 

Mark blinks. “It was fine. Quite boring.” 

Ian smirks. “Still trying to get over your crush on your teacher?”

Mark sighs, because even though Ian runs through his mind every single moment of the day, he _does_ have a thing for Alex. Following his escapades with Jed and Donovan, Mark doesn’t even know how he has time to think about all of these guys in one day. “It’s just a very strange situation. Like obviously there’s attraction between us, and we have each other’s numbers. He stands up there at the front of class every week and I pop a boner and don’t listen to a word he says.” 

“Maybe you just need to go for it with him.” 

Mark frowns. “You remember me telling you that it’s against the school’s rules of conduct and Alex wants nothing like that happen to between us, right?” 

Ian shrugs. “It wouldn’t be the first time something like this has happened. Besides, it only needs to be a one night thing to get it out of your system.” 

Mark stares blankly. “When have you ever known me to get over something after having it once?”

“Peanut butter.” 

“Because I’m allergic, you asshat. Anyway, that’s my problem. I attach myself way too quickly to any guy that comes around showing interest in me. That’s why I kept going back to Jed’s apartment, that’s why I keep waiting for Donovan to call me, and that’s why I—.” 

“Why you what, dude?” 

Mark takes a sip of his beer, emptying it. He leans forward for another, desperately stalling. _Keep your mouth shut, you jackass. “_ Nothing. Never mind.” 

“You gotta tell me now. You can’t just leave a guy hanging.” 

“And that’s why I…uh…I keep looking at BroFinder hoping someone will message me,” Mark splutters hopelessly. 

Ian eyes him suspiciously, but accepts it. “Why don’t you just message them?” 

Mark smiles. “Would if I could, man. Part of Penny’s beta testing is seeing what sorts of profiles are the most attractive, so then she can write an FAQ about how best to gain Fist Bumps. So I’m not allowed to message first, hence the waiting and waiting like a princess in a tower.” 

“Well, someone’s gonna message you, dude.” 

Mark shakes his blank phone. “Hasn’t happened so far.” 

“Because you keep looking at it. The road to the highest stage of enlightenment is through the patience of the mind and the eye.” 

Mark shakes his head. “You should write a book, Ian.” 

“Maybe I will! And you can write a book on how to make your pizza delivery guy fall for you.” 

“He has not _fallen_ for me!” 

Ian raises a brow. “Really?” He elongates the vowel sound dramatically. “So tell me why I caught him lingering outside our apartment the other day, and why we get free pizza whenever we want it.” 

The thing is, Mark knows the answer. But it’s not something he wants to get into with Ian right now, especially now that the buzz of drunkenness has taken hold of him, his tongue looser than normal. 

At least that’s what sober Mark would’ve said.

“It’s not that he’s in love with me, Ian. He’s just…” 

“Just what?” 

Mark turns to him squarely. “Okay, but you cannot repeat this.” 

Ian makes a ‘cross my heart’ gesture. 

“I happen to give the best blowjob he’s ever had.” 

If Mark hadn’t been looking down at where he’s slowly tearing the label from the beer bottle, he would’ve seen Ian tense up slightly, a wild fire in his eyes. 

“Yeah?” 

Mark shrugs. “I guess. Well, actually, he said he thinks it’s the best blowjob anyone has ever had. Not to blow my own horn, but…”

Ian sniggers. “Have you tried?” 

“To blow my own horn?” Mark looks up at him now, grinning. 

Ian returns his gaze. “I think every guy has at some point. I just don’t bend that way.” He slides down the sofa and curls over, face getting closer to his crotch but he can’t reach it at all. 

Mark chuckles, copying the motion and folds himself over, definitely getting closer than Ian. He has tried it, quite a few times, but it’s something he’s never quite been able to master. He knows that Jed can do it, though, which makes him even more curious about the boy. How is he flexible enough to pull off something like that? Mark vocalises as much.

“Okay, this hurts,” Ian hisses, rubbing his stomach. “No offence, dude, but I think Jed’s full of shit. About this, not about the other thing.” Ian adds quickly. 

Mark’s eyes widen slightly. “So you think I give the best blowjob anyone’s ever had?” 

Ian shrugs. “Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past you. I mean, I’ve had great head in my life, but—.” 

“But?” It’s Mark turn to elongate the vowel sound now. It’s questioning, daring, challenging Ian to continue. That tone always works with Ian, he’s far too competitive to back down when things get a little too far. 

He sighs lightly. “ _But_ I’m willing to bet yours is better.” He says this quietly, as though it’s something he’s trying not to say. 

Mark smiles. “I appreciate the support.” 

Ian clears his throat. “So you wanna watch a movie?” 

“Sure,” Mark replies easily, anything to have something to focus on other than this latest line of questioning. Mark slides off the couch and pads over to their joint DVD collection, which is quite extensive thanks to Penny’s blossoming interest in both cinema and the preservation of physical media in a time where digital cyberspace is taking over the world. For someone so obsessed with how to utilise technology, Penny spends a lot of time condemning it. 

It comes in handy now as Mark swipes their favourite movie from the collection and slides the disc into the player.

The menu for _The Princess Bride_ stares to play and Mark sees Ian’s face light up. This is Ian’s childhood favourite movie, one that he introduced both Mark and Penny to during their first trio movie night, and the latter duo instantly falling in love with it. Then Mark fell in love with the guy who introduced it to him. But that’s unrelated.

As soon as Mark hits play, things take a turn. 

It starts with “Dude, we’re out of beer”. 

It continues with “We’ve still got some tequila left over from the party…” 

You can see where this is going. 

Mark retrieves the tequila from the cupboard and turns to Ian. “Salt? Limes?” 

Ian shakes his head. “Nah, that’s the pussy way out. This is bros night.” 

Mark’s drunk enough to not fight him on this, but also aware enough to know that it’s a bad idea. Compromises.

* * *

For the next ninety-eight minutes, everything is forgotten. Both boys are so enraptured in the movie, cheering and crying at the appropriate parts, that somehow they’ve found their way into the middle of the couch. 

Ian is slouched, hands clasped firmly on top of his chest. Mark is leaning into him, head perched on his shoulder. 

When the credits roll, Ian wipes his eyes and smiles. “Tequila shot?” 

Mark smirks. “As you wish.” 

As Mark moves his head, Ian jumps up theatrically. “My name is Ian Manachevitz. You are not drunk enough. Prepare to do a shot!” 

Mark throws his head back and laughs. “Pour the shot, dork.” 

Ian does as commanded and fills the tiny shot glasses up with tequila and hands one to Mark as they throw their heads back and let the liquid sail down their throats. They both wince and screw up their faces as they look at each other. 

“Bad idea?” 

Ian nods. 

“Wanna do another?” 

Ian nods. 

Some twenty minutes and five shots down, Ian has the worst idea of the night.

“Ooh I got a game! We gotta ask each other questions and you _have_ to answer and if you don’t you have to take a shot.” 

Mark shrugs. “Okay, sounds fun.” 

Ian rubs his hands together. “Let’s start easy. Who was your childhood celebrity crush?” 

Mark grins because it’s easy. “Jeremy Sumpter in Peter Pan.”

“Wow you knew all the way back then?” 

“Not exactly, but I probably should have caught on to the fact that I was watching that movie every day and crying when I wasn’t allowed.” 

Ian chuckles. “That’s adorable.”

“Have you ever thought about another girl while you’ve been with Zoe?”

Ian whistles. “What happened to starting easy?” 

“I never agreed to this.” 

“Fine, uh, no I haven’t.” 

Mark raises his eyebrow. “Really?” 

“Dude, I may be a dick, but I’m a total dick. What’s your most shameful sexual fantasy?” 

_Slathering hot melted chocolate on your abs and licking it off with my tongue with Jed and Zoe watch from afar. Oh, and Alex is fucking me from behind while I do it_. 

Mark reaches for shot glass. 

“ _Really_?” 

Mark blushes. “Some things never need to be spoken into existence.” 

“And to think that was a warm-up question.” 

The game continues for longer than they expect it to. They get into a rhythm. Mark has more shots than Ian, mostly because Ian is an open book and Mark knows pretty much everything about him by this point, which makes it hard to think of questions he wants the answers to. 

Through this game, he’s learned that Ian prefers purple dildos to any other colour, that he loves to watch _Cruel Intentions_ while having sex, and that he enjoys a good spanking every once in a while. 

By the time Ian asks what turns out to be his final question, Mark is poorly trying to conceal an erection. 

And what a question it is. 

“Do you know what happened to my last lube tube?” 

Mark eyes the bottle of tequila, which is stone cold empty. 

Ian smirks. “Welcome to my master plan. Leave the things you _really_ want to know until the alcohol is gone. Fess up, Matthews.” 

“Yes, I do,” Mark slurs. 

“So what—?” 

Mark waggles his finger in front of Ian’s face. “Uh uh, Manachevitz, one question per turn. Which means it’s _my_ turn.”

Ian nods. “Bring it.”

A flurry of things run through Mark’s mind at what seems to be the same time. 

_Have you ever thought about fucking me?_

_Do you ever just…you know, wanna dump Zoe and climb into bed with me?_

_Do you love me?_

_Can I kiss you?_

But the tequila runs amok around Mark’s feeble brain, smashing into his two brain cells like a sledgehammer, so he comes out with…

“How big is your dick?” 

Ian’s eyebrow shoot upwards. “That’s it? That’s your big kicker question that you’ve been thinking about for the past hour? Jesus Matthews, if you wanted to know about my dick so bad all you ever had to do was ask, you know I’m not shy.” 

And that, ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary friends, is when Ian Manachevitz whips off his belt, undoes his zipper, bucks his hips upwards and pulls his pants and underwear down to his ankles. 

Appropriately, Mark’s mouth hangs open. 

For all the times he’s seen Ian in his underwear and heard his sex noises through the ridiculously thin walls (strangely enough though, he’s never heard Zoe’s), and heard his escapades the morning after, he’s never Ian’s naked penis. 

And it’s better than he ever imagined. 

Ian takes hold of his dick, which is rapidly hardening from the strokes and the release of not being confined to his jeans anymore. “At least now you know why I always leave everyone so satisfied.” His voice has lost its snark, as though it knows he’s sat there, half-naked and stroking himself off in front of his best friend. 

Mark’s hand twitches in its position across his lap, begging to reach out and replace Ian’s hand and fulfil everything he’d been thinking about for a long time now, before he even really knew why. 

“Okay, now you,” Ian breathes. 

Mark blinks, confused. “What now?” 

“That’s the rule. Whenever one guy gets his dick out, the other guys have to, too. Surely you would know this better than anyone.” 

And that’s how Mark Matthews ends up naked too. 

Not that Ian has to ask him twice. The haze of lust wraps itself around his brain and squeezes, so all he can think about is closing the distance between him and Ian, and his hand finding Ian’s shaft. 

Mark bravely shuffles along the couch, so he’s right next to Mark, head tilted back looking into his eyes. 

“Mark.” 

“Mm?” 

“We’re naked.” 

“Right.” 

“And drunk.” 

“Right again”

“Are we sure this is a good idea?” 

Mark gapes. “This was _your_ idea.” 

Ian seems to remember this and chuckles. “So it was.”

And just like that, Ian moves his hand away from his now rock hard dick. It sits upright, rigid, thick and exuding heat. 

Ian’s head flops onto the back of the couch, sliding down so their skulls are touching, Ian’s breath hot and heavy in Mark’s ear. 

“You know you can touch it if you want.” 

And now Mark _knows_ he’s dreaming. There’s no way Ian is sat here naked, saying these things to him. It’s like his dream about Alex, where he’s accused of cheating on his Anatomy exam and Alex gives him one chance to make it right and get an A and…well, you know how the rest of it goes. 

Mark turns to face Ian, their lips mere inches away from each other’s. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You sure?” Mark needs to know because one he wraps his hand around the thick, beautiful cock in front of him, there’s no going back. 

“Mark, _please_.” 

And Mark does. His hand reaches out and grips Ian’s dick and he can feel the larger boy deflate next to him. 

Ian’s tongue flicks out and traces along Mark’s lips. His hand finds Mark’s own cock, and for one perfect second everything is right. 

“Can I kiss you?” Mark asks, heart hammering in his chest. 

Ian says nothing, instead uses his free hand that’s slung around Mark’s neck to pull his face closer and claim his lips, hand moving wildly on his cock. 

Mark picks up the pace with his own jerking and Ian moans into his mouth. 

“Shit Mark, you’re so hard.” 

Mark continues the kiss, praying he remembers this in the morning. “You have that effect on me.”

“Mark,” Ian rumbles, but Mark isn’t listening. He reclaims Ian’s lips for another deep kiss, his hand working a mile a minute to take care of Ian. 

Ian pulls away slightly. “Mark…” His words are interrupted by a deep moan of pleasure and then Mark feels something drip down his hand. It’s over. 

Ian breathes heavily. “I didn’t want that to be over so soon.” 

Mark shrugs. “It’s not over yet.” He leans over to Ian’s chest, where the splashes of him landed after his orgasm. He swipes his tongue across the hard muscle, collecting Ian in his mouth, wiping him clean. 

“God Mark, you’re killing me.” 

As Mark retakes his upright position, Ian leans over him and presses a kiss to his dick, letting his mouth envelop the head. Mark shivers and grabs the back of Ian’s hair, tugging gently, enough to pull Ian back.

Ian looks up at him. “What?” 

Mark smiles. “I just want to remember this.” 

Ian grins before going down on him, circling his tongue around the head before sinking deeper onto Mark’s dick. Mark moans, gently pushing Ian deeper until the larger boy has Mark’s whole shaft in his mouth. Mark has never been deepthroated before and the fact that his first time is with the guy he loves? Forget about it. 

“Ian,” he rumbles, and Ian hums a response around his dick. “Ian, I’m gonna…” 

Ian pulls away with an inexplicably attractive slurping noise. “Good huh?” 

Mark nods breathlessly. 

“Do you trust me?” 

Mark nods again, unable to form the word. 

Ian slips a hand underneath Mark, feeling along his ass before circling a finger around his hole. 

“Oh god,” Mark moans again as Ian slips a finger inside him. 

“Gonna make you feel so good,” Ian whispers into Mark’s ear, resuming jacking him off as his finger angles deeper into his ass. 

Mark grabs the end of the couch cushions as his toes curl, Ian hitting his sweet spot. With a yell, Mark comes. 

It’s one of the most potent orgasms he’s ever experienced, spurred on by the guy he loves sticking a finger inside of him. 

The kicker arrives when Ian reciprocates what Mark did to him, slithering over his body to clean up his mess. He withdraws his finger and licks Mark’s dick clean, sliding up his stomach. He meets Mark’s gaze before giving him a simple kiss on the lips. 

Ian falls back against the couch, breathing heavily. “Dude.” 

“Well that’s never happened before.” 

“Nope.” 

“It doesn’t change anything though, does it?” 

“Mark—.” 

“Holy shit…Zoe.” 

Before Ian can respond, Mark jolts to his feet, pulling up his jeans and underwear and throwing his shirt on as fast as he can. 

“You know, gay men have this reputation about having sex with anyone and stealing other people’s boyfriends and I’ve just become another example of that. This was so stupid, why did you have to get your dick out? Now you’re a _cheater_ , Ian. And I’m a stupid home-wrecker who saw a chance to have everything I wanted and took it without thinking, we’re _thoughtless_.” 

“Mark.” 

“I’m going to bed.” 

Mark swipes his phone and stomps down the hallway. He check it idly. 

_New message received!_

_Donovan: Can’t have a shower without thinking about you now._

_New picture message!_

Mark can’t bring himself to open it. He feels dirty, the stark realisation of his actions clearing his mind, filtering out the tequila-based decisions and letting him think at least a little rationally. 

He just got everything he’d wanted for months, probably years now, and yet it’s all ruined because it wasn’t the right thing to do. He’s hurt Zoe, possibly jeopardised his relationship with his best friend, and for what? A good blowjob and a little finger action?

_It was a terrific blowjob and you know it._

“That’s not helping!” Mark hisses as he flops onto his bed. He stares at the ceiling. “Why did I do that?” 

_Because the guy you’re in love with got out his dick and practically begged you to have sex with him. Who in their right mind is going to turn that down?_

“I should’ve said no.” Mark curses as his brain sings that now ironic Taylor Swift song. 

_You should’ve thought twice before you let it all go…_

* * *

Mark wakes up sweating. And crying. A flood of shame courses through him, last night bursting the dam that had been building up ever since he came out. The weight of expectation, his little distracting infatuations that he hoped would take his mind off Ian, BroFinder, and everything else that had happened in between. 

Ten minutes into Mark’s epiphany crying session, there’s a knock at the door. 

“Go away please,” he mumbles, but he doubts he’s heard. 

“Mark?” Penny calls. “I need to talk to you.” 

Mark wipes his eyes desperately. “Come in.” 

Penny opens the door. “It’s about BroFinder, I—what’s wrong?” She swarms to him, wrapping him in a huge hug, rubbing his head. “I’ve got you.” 

Mark cries into her shoulder. “Penny, it’s such a mess. I did something stupid.” 

And so Mark tells her the entire story. Like the amazing friend that she is, Penny listens the whole way, eyes only widening slightly as a reaction. She lets him spill the entire night’s events into the air, wiping his eyes when he starts to cry again. 

“Okay, here’s what we do. You tell me exactly what’s upsetting you and then I’ll go talk to Ian.” 

“What? No, I…what?” 

“I won’t tell him I’ve talked to you, I’ll just see what he tells me.”

“He cheated on Zoe with me. I may not like her very much, but she doesn’t deserve that.” 

“And that’s what’s hurting you?” 

Mark’s lips trembles. He knows he can’t get away with lying to Penny. “I’m hurting because I’m a bad person. I know I would do it again if it came to that. Pen, the guy I’m hopelessly in love with basically offered himself to me on a platter and I didn’t think twice.”

A creak sounds outside the door. Mark’s too busy crying to hear anything, but Penny’s lip quiver a little. 

“How did it make you feel, Mark?”

Mark looks up. “What?” 

“Being with Ian, how did you feel? And feel free to get poetic.” 

Mark swallows. “It was everything, Pen. I know we didn’t go all the way, but I don’t know how I’m going to ever want to do that with anyone else. Nothing compares to what happened last night.”

“Because it was with someone you love. And someone who loves you.” 

Mark scoffs. “Not in that way, though.” 

“Are you really so sure?” 

Mark pauses. “Huh?” 

Penny shrugs. “Think about it.” She stands. “I’m having lunch with Phil, so I gotta head out, but call me if you need anything. And Mark? Talk to him. Today. Don’t leave this to fester.” 

Mark nods. “Thank you.” 

Penny says no more as she takes her leave. 

Mark ruminates on her words. 

_Are you really so sure?_

There’s no way Ian could love him back, right? Ian is straight. 

_A straight guy who just gave an expert blowjob and has a history of fucking himself with dildos, Mark._

A fire lights in Mark’s eyes. 

He pulls on some sweatpants and slips out of his room, walking across the hall and banging on the door. 

“Ian? Ian?” 

Ian pulls the door open, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. “Mark.” 

Mark says nothing more, pulling Ian into a kiss. Ian pushes them both against the wall, hands roaming everywhere they’ve already been. Ian grabs Mark’s ass and hoists him upwards, holding him with his dominant strength. 

Ian walks back into his room, sitting down on his bed, Mark now straddling him. Ian pulls away. 

“I guess we should talk.” 

Mark nods, swiping a tongue across his lips. “Yeah.” 

They arrange themselves more comfortably, Mark draping his legs across Ian’s lap. 

“So Penny said…” 

Ian smiles. “I think I should go first.” 

“Right. Okay.” 

“Have you been crying?” 

“Maybe a little.” 

Ian kisses his head. “I’m sorry. But I want you to know that I didn’t cheat on Zoe.” 

Mark frowns. “Is this some sort of ‘it doesn’t count as cheating because it’s with a guy’ thing?” 

Ian shakes his head. “You misunderstand me. I didn’t cheat on Zoe because Zoe and I are not together.”

“You broke up?” 

Ian sighs lightly. “Zoe and I haven’t been together for a long time, Mark. Please, just let me explain for a second.

“I love you. I think I’ve loved you ever since I met you, but I didn’t know it’s what that was at the time. I thought it was just a really strong friend crush. The funny hat incident wasn’t the first time I saw you.” 

“It wasn’t?” 

Ian smiles. “No, you were studying at JoJo’s one day. You ordered a hot chocolate with a shot of vanilla. It was that day I noticed you, Mark, and I was instantly attracted to you.” 

Mark’s breath hitches. 

“I don’t know what I am. I’ve never been this way about another guy, but Zoe helped me understand that it is what it is. Attraction. Love. And not just platonic best friend kind of love. Real I want to spend my life with you kind of love. Falling in love with you was the best thing I ever did. And I’m sorry it took me years to say anything, I was scared that I would ruin this, I was scared that you wouldn’t feel the same. Hell, until this semester started, I thought you were straight.” 

Mark snorts, remembering a time where everyone thought he was straight. 

“I met Zoe at a party. I got drunk and she tried to flirt with me, but I might have accidentally called her ‘Mark’ while we were making out. She figured out I wasn’t interested and we became friends. She’s been helping me discover myself.”

“The dildos,” Mark whispers. 

“In case it ever came to that, I wanted to be prepared. Turns out it’s fucking awesome. Those noises you hear at night, they were never Zoe and I having sex. We were watching gay porn.”

Mark leans his head against Ian’s shoulder. “You should’ve told me.”

“So should you,” Ian replies, leading into Mark’s turn to talk. 

“I want to start with I love you too. Because that’s the thing I’ve known for a long time. Probably since the funny hat incident. I’ve never met anyone like you before in my life. You’re so self-assured, so funny, kind, supportive, and it helps that you look like a model.” 

Ian grins. 

“I was so nervous to come out, partly because I thought you might catch on to the fact that I liked you. Telling you was something I never even considered because I thought it would be pointless. Why risk ruining our friendship if you were never going to feel the same way?” 

Ian opens his mouth to speak, but Mark smiles. 

“Let me finish. I was content to sit in silence, go on these dates, try to distract myself. But even when I was with Jed or Donovan, I always thought about you. Secretly, selfishly wishing it was you I was with instead.”

“I was so jealous. Did you never notice why I kept warning you away from Jed or telling you about those dating app users who got their heads cut off by serial killers?”

“I thought it was just the care and protection of my best friend.” 

Ian shakes his head. “God, we really wasted so much time.” 

Mark nods. “But we finally got here. And you…you really love me?” 

Ian cradles Mark’s face. “You’re so hard on yourself. You’ve convinced yourself you’re not worthy of love so you don’t expect anyone to love you. But I really, really do, Mark. It’s probably the only thing I’m sure of. Besides the fact that you give awesome blowjobs.” 

“There’s still time to test that theory,” Mark grins. 

“Baby, we have all the time in the world.” 

Mark slides his head onto Ian’s shoulder. “Did you pretend to be with Zoe to make me jealous?” 

Ian grimaces. “It was actually Zoe’s idea. She thought it might cause you to show your feelings for me if you had any. She thought you did, but I wasn’t so sure.” 

“How could I not be in love you? You’re the best person I know.” 

“Ditto,” Ian smiles, kissing the top of Ian’s head. 

“So what happens now?” 

Ian shrugs. “Well, we want to be with each other. I free Zoe from her beard responsibilities and we start dating. You should probably talk to Jed.” 

Mark groans. “Anything but that.” 

“It’s only fair, Sparky. Even though you don’t think he’s that into you, I promise you that he is.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Because I know how it feels to be in love with you. It’s impossible to ignore. You’re electric and you have a very powerful effect on people. Even by giving Jed a little bit of yourself, you’ve opened him up to the possibility of you. That’s not your fault, it’s just how it is.”

“I can’t believe this is real,” Mark mutters. “You know how many times I’ve watched you walk around in your underwear and debated just walking up to you and slipping my hands in your boxers?” 

“Feel free to do that anytime you want. You realise I was doing that on purpose?” 

“I do now, yes.” 

“Come to think of it, there is still one thing I don’t know…” 

“What’s that?” 

“Did you use my lube?” 


End file.
